When I think of travel, I’m reminded of Jean Paul Sartre’s lament that L’enfer, c’est les autres or Hell is other people. I know that I’m not using his famous quote in the exact context, but you get the picture. Unless you’re planning on visiting the outback or the never-never* you’re going to be with other people. Possibly lots of them. I mention this now to foresee the inevitable tension when we, my husband and I, arrive at the airport, our point of embarkation for our grand adventure, and the gathering point for hordes of other nervous, excited and often-times loud, other travellers.
The explorer’s mindset
If you’re reading this, you may also be longing for far-off places. You are certainly not the only person who dreams of being an explorer, a discoverer of new places and taster of new culinary and other experiences. Perhaps you even envisage yourself as a modern-day Emily Creaghe who crossed the rugged Gulf of Carpentaria in 1882 as part of an expedition, or more recently, Jessica Watson who was the youngest person to sail solo and unassisted around the world. What a dangerous and indeed inspiring way to live. Even if we can just experience a tea-spoon’s full of this type of thrilling adventure – we’re satisfied.
Being familiar with the journey of last century travellers Freya Stark or Alexandra David-Néel we know that our travel itinerary is modest. Realising this fact, I felt reassured it would never be as risky. Freya and Alexandra, were two formidable female travellers from early in the last century, who thank goodness were both writers, as we can vicariously visit exotic places with them, that even today appear on government travel warning websites. I’m thinking here of Afghanistan and the less stable countries of the Middle East. They travelled for the most part, in blissful ignorance of the dangers they would face. Or perhaps they did know and this was the attraction.
Waiting for take-off
The pandemic was frustrating for my husband, as it surely was for many other people. As he’d officially retired a few months previously his plan was to travel and write. So, unable to go anywhere, he returned to work to occupy the time he should have been travelling. The enforced land lubber status was destroying his adventurous ambitions for his retirement. He was all too aware of quietly arriving ailments such as a bothersome back and a kinking knee – all reminding him of his advancing age. The clock was ticking loudly in his head.
My husband, in general, is not a fan of other people. He’s sliding into his natural persona of grumpy old man, beautifully. He’s adamant that it’s not him who’s grumpy, it’s other people who are irritating, dithering or too noisy. The irony is that my husband imagines himself as a free spirit. Open. Tolerant. Worldly. Sigh.
A change of habits
There is a challenge in travelling with others, well anyone really. After thirty plus years of marriage, you would have thought that I’d be used to the close and personal contact required for trapsing across the continent… But no. Travel requires intimate, often 24-hour close proximity. It can be an intense experience when you’re removed from the comfort of your daily habits and customs, you’re confronted by multiple decisions on how to travel, e.g., walk, bus, taxi and where to stop, eat and drink. And then we have the challenge over choosing accommodation. Self-outing here that I like to have my accommodation booked in advance, whereas he, when it’s practical, likes to rock into town and choose somewhere that meets his criteria for charming, quiet, inexpensive, with delightful hosts and not too far from the railway station. This idea is lovely but the stress of not finding this little nugget, both pre-anticipated and experienced first-hand on arrival, removes the joy of travelling for me. It’s just too easy to arrive to discover that a local literary, food tasting or cycling festival has meant that the only accommodation available is 13 miles out of town and not accessible by public transport.
Just bring hand luggage…
But let me not get too far ahead of myself. I need to mention my other half’s fantasy of travelling for several months across countries of varying temperatures – with only hand luggage. Yes, this is something you can do, if your spouse has checked in luggage that includes, shampoo, Gaviscon tablets, mosquito repellent, an extra t-shirt and pair of socks, first aid kit, spare battery charger, you get the idea. Curiously one thing that he always packs, which I think is completely unnecessary, are peanut butter sandwiches. Did I mention that my spouse likes to pack light, taking only the barest of essentials? But still, there’s room for sandwiches which is absurd given that the trolley passes every three hours, and that snacks can be obtained through the gentle push of a button. He reminds me, however, that on many flights, food is served at ridiculous times, ‘Chicken or beef at 2.30 in the morning sir?’ Also, that, with more and more low-cost carriers not providing food at all, having a couple of surreptitious sandwiches tucked away can save money. I know that economy-class airline food is not gourmet, but it more than meets basic sustenance requirements. And sitting for hours on end as we cross ocean after ocean and an occasional land mass, does not burn calories.
I need alone-time
Self-declaration. I love being on my own; I need time alone – and travelling together makes this nearly impossible. We are in each other’s company 24 hours a day. I think I must be an introvert although this would surprise many. I’d rather be in the outback with kookaburras for company, than queuing with dozens of others in need of a steaming cappuccino – and I love cappuccinos. It’s hard work being an explorer and with all those decisions and other people, indeed a stressful experience.
Getting balance
Travel is such a sensory-rich, learning adventure. Away from your daily habits you do things differently. You smell, and taste and feel new experiences and meet new people and see new places. You learn a lot about each other, and if you spend a bit of time reflecting, will appreciate that you are learning a lot about yourself. I’m aware that there’s a contradiction, indeed a balancing act, of wanting to explore new places, and experience new things while longing to stay put, seeking solace in the quietness of the never-never, with time to ponder and renew.
Read our travel diaries. We’re mostly together but sometimes apart.
We’ve priced the e-book version of our book at USD 2.99 cents. You can pick up your copy in all the usual places including Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Kobo and Apple. Also available in paperback version on Amazon and Booktopia.
References
*The Never Never is the name of a vast, remote area of the Australian Outback, as described in Barcroft Boake’s poem “Where the Dead Men Lie”
Jean Paul Sartre – Hell is other people https://www.lepoint.fr/philosophie/sartre-l-enfer-c-est-les-autres-14-11-2017-2172343_3963.php
Australia.museum – for information on Emily Creaghe